After your initial breakup, you go through a whirl wind of emotions and the first is a denial stage thinking that your ex was just angry and made a mistake and will call you any moment to apologize and you will get back together again.

Then after a couple of weeks depending on you as every person as every person is different in the way and time they take to process their emotions, you start to realize that they are not going to call or come back to you so you rehearse over and over of what you should have said to them.

Then the feeling takes over of your whole world is crashing down and is being turned inside out, your heart is being ripped out of your chest by some demon and you are flooded with these different emotions all at once and have no idea how to deal with them.

You cannot listen to music or watch movies because every song or movie whether it's about a breakup or love it makes you think of your ex partner, which makes you cry and cry. You lose your appetit

As a Marriage & Family Therapist for over 40 years, I have counseled many couples. With the goal of improving their relationships, I helped them understand themselves and each other, practice constructive communication, express their resentments, make positive agreements, and create win-win solutions. Then I ask them to forgive themselves and each other for anything they did or said that was not loving. I tell them that they both did the best they could with the information they had, and now they know better.

I believe that most people struggle with their partners, because love is not enough, and they lack the necessary insights and solutions. "It is like you want to build a house," I tell them, "but you have no manual or tools to succeed. Then you wonder why your relationship is struggling."

Couples may choose to stay miserable or separate from their partners when things are too troublesome. However, often if they resume their relationship, and their behaviors